Get the.. uhhhh.. fuckiiin uhhhhh...

The fuckin cracker knots dude
Fuckin uhhhh.. pretzels. Fuck
Yeah, pass the pretzels dude.
Yeah I know I'm fuckin dumb.
Who gives a shit. Pass the pretzels.
Grab a handful or put it on the table. Just pass the fuckin pretzels
Aw what the fuck was that?
That's fuckin dumb bro.You're gonna get crumbs everywhere
And what about when you stand up?
The crumbs will just magically stick to your shirt?Fuckin dumbass

Jesus, uhhh.... just fuckin sit there a second.
Ok, dump em all into this and try to get the crumbs too
Yeah, I brought water for be coz I was thirsty and a second water in case I got thirsty again
Fuck off. Course I brought you one, not a fuckin shirt licking barbarian like you
Man fuck you
Love you too


I don't think you can break em in an even half

Not a chance. You couldn't divide a stick of butter in half if I gave you a knife and a calculator

That doesn't count and you know it

Is splitting conjoined twins really the same as cutting a man in half?



Why aren't more foods like pretzels?
Like tied in a knot and shit?
I dunno, garlic sticks?
That's possible, I guess
You think you can tie a know that only you know how to untie?
Alright, sorry. I'll shut up

Written: Wed Dec 11 2019