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Breakfast is sacred.

Breakfast should be the first thing you do every day. You can wake up, brush your teeth, and get dressed as muscle memory, but breakfast should be the first thing you actually *do* every morning.

Breakfast should be comforting. No matter where you are or what you are doing, it should be comforting.

Breakfast should be peaceful. Even if you eat breakfast in a busy diner in New York, you should still be able to find peace in your breakfast.

Breakfast should be simple. If your breakfast is a feast, it's not breakfast. It's an early lunch.

Breakfast should be refreshing. It's not a job, it's a meal. Don't do any work, simply enjoy breakfast. Maybe read the news as long as it doesn't require too much thought.

Breakfast should be a meal. Don't eat it in the kitchen, you savage. Put your bagel on a plate, pour yourself some coffee or tea, and bring it to a table. Your desk is not a table. The couch is not a table either. Neither is your lap. If you're worried you didn't get enough tea/coffee, bring the pot to the table with you.

Breakfast should be unique. I'm a huge fan of leftovers, but don't just microwave last nights pizza. Crack a fried egg on it, or maybe spread some cream cheese on it. This goes is reverse too. The only people who eat eggs outside of breakfast are either drunk, stoned, or toddlers[^1].

Breakfast should be stationary. Grabbing a meal "to go" isn't a meal. It's a snack.

Breakfast should be pleasant.

Breakfast isn't time Dependant. You can eat breakfast at 4am. You can eat breakfast at noon. You can eat breakfast at 8pm.

Breakfast should be tidy. Even if you are camping, the fork(s) and napkin go on the left, the spoons, cups and knives go on the right[^2].

Breakfast meetings are a lie. They are neither breakfast, nor a meeting.

Breakfast can happen more than once a day. Each time you nap is another opportunity for breakfast[^3].

Breakfast should not be a team sport. Chitchat with one or two other people is fine. Small talk with the barista is OK. A deep conversation with five people turns breakfast into a meeting.

Breakfast should be routine. Starting off each day with some semblance of routine is nice. Even in a foreign land, there is always a first meal of the day. That being said, don't be afraid to try something new sometimes.


**Footnotes:**

[^1]: If you fit two of these criteria, you are no longer qualified to make an egg outside of breakfast. If you fit all three of these criteria, you are once again qualified to make an egg outside of breakfast.
[^2]: I'm not sure if this holds true south of the equator, it might be like flushing water.
[^3]: Only the longest sleep requires breakfast afterward. All others are optional.

Written: Sat Sep 10 2016