Drink lighter fluid straight, no chaser.
Shave with uranium to give your skin a healthy glow.
Smoke everything. If it can be burned, roll with it.
Order other people's ice creams for them.
Always carry license plates (never yours).
Wyoming didn't exist in the first place.
Electricity and the wheel are proof of non-linear time.
Cowboys cheat at bowling, never pool or snooker.
Literature is canned tuna for life.
Buy titanium.
Not all poetry is bad, but this sentence has a clause.
Bored? Summon a demon. After that, get creative!
Use nested parentheticals (and brackets [which are these {and these are braces}])

Written: Sat Dec 08 2018